Welcome to 2010

I'm currently sitting next to Chelsea on a love seat at Gleanings for the Hungry in rural Dinuba, CA. My family has been here for the week and it has been awesome for me to spend time with them, catch up, and be around the familiar. To think that I would be in this place is astounding to me.

This year brings a lot of emotions and thoughts. It was a year full of change and transition, not all easy, but always needed.

January: welcomed 2009 in with family and started my final semester at Evangel University. A month that brought a new time but also many questions of what lay in the future.

February: Stuck in the midst of the semester wondering if I would make it the last few months (which praise the Lord I did). I also went to Peru on a mission's trip which broke my heart even more for those who are lost.

March: Spring came and March was a month of trust. I didn't know what I would be doing after graduation and waiting to hear from God is something that stretches my faith.

April: A time of busyness at school. The semester was winding down and emotions of moving and leaving were weighing heavy on my mind. I was ready to be done with school and classes (which now I actually miss) but not ready to leave my friends and the comfort of those who I love so much. I found out that I would be a Chaperone with the African Children's Choir too =)

May: Graduation. Saying my goodbyes was not easy. I cried a lot and resisted, but time is no respecter of person and did not slow down so that I could have more time with friends. I skyped a lot and leaned on God and His faithfulness.

June: Work filled my days and time with family or by myself filled my nights. Summer as a whole was difficult. I love Michigan summers and I love being with my family, but leaving life that I had known for the last three years and not knowing when I would see those who I had shared that life with was a challenge.

July: This month seemed the longest. It stretched and stretched and I felt trapped. I was in a place of expectancy for what lie ahead but also missing what was behind. I was reminded of the picture that God gave me one day when I was kayaking before my senior year. The sun was going down and the moon was pushing itself in. I was asking God what lay before me and I heard, "Don't miss the sunset that I have for you looking for what the moon will one day reveal." That comforted me through July and a last minute trip to Missouri to see Ashley and Amy helped as well!

August: Preparation. I was getting ready to leave for tour and in a place of trying to prepare myself in any way that I could. Beyond the preparation of purchasing the suitcase and other travel necessities God was working on me. I came to a place that I could trust God for all of my provisions and needs or not. It was a struggle, a battle. It's hard to open your hands and BE but that is what God asks us; His plan is so beautiful! I learned and grew a lot that month.

September: Beginning life on the road with Choir 35, falling in love with the children, forging friendships with this new family of Chaperones...this month was a transition month. Beginning a new season of life: running towards the new and reminiscing on the old.

October: In the thick of tour, busy with concerts and consumed with thinking about the children and team I learned that my strength comes from God. I can worry and fret and it will do no good. I was reminded through a Host Family that God carries us when we are weak even when we are unaware. And being weak...that is exactly the place that God wants us, because in our weakness can His power be made perfect.

November: A wonderful time of spending Thanksgiving all together and reflecting on all that I have to be thankful for. Seeing more clearly how much God loves us as a Father as I am a "parent" to these 23 children for this time. Such a strong love that sees beyond the imperfection and flaws to see the heart and beauty of a life.

December: What a month. So much learning and growing and stretching. Perhaps the closing of another season brings the reflection that opens my eyes. I am so thankful for the ways that God is changing me into the woman that He desires me to be. He is planting me and growing my roots deep into HIM. Chelsea gave me a verse this morning =) and it fits perfectly with what God is doing in me:

Colossians 2:6-10

"And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority."

And now for 2010...what will it hold, how will I grow, how will I change those around me? Questions race at me but I am learning to live in the present. I refuse to miss the opportunities that God has placed before me right now to GROW.

Best moment of the day:

It was one of those moments that I know I will remember for a long time. Just Rogers, Benson, Auntie Chelsea, and I playing a game of soccer before dinner. It was already dark and there was a thick fog that made the air heavy and the mountains in the background impossible to see. We all ran back and forth, back and forth on the field while laughing the whole time. The boys beat the Aunties 5-4. It was close and I think next time we will have a chance!

We called the game over and Auntie Chelsea and I collapsed on the wet grass as the boys celebrated their victory. It was a beautiful moment.

And in that moment, as Rogers stood over us exclaiming, "oh this is just so cute, I need to take a picture," I took a picture in my mind.

An afternoon off...

I'm currently at Panera enjoying the bottomless coffee and free wi-fi. It is 70 degrees outside and Christmas is only 3 days away. It feels strange to not have snow, although I did pass a lawn yesterday that was covered in white batting, does that count?

I am looking forward to Christmas break. After we are on Jay Leno tomorrow we will head to camp for nearly two weeks. We will go to a Christmas Eve candlelight service, enjoy Christmas day together, and a numerous amount of other events together. For me that is the key to this Christmas break that will make it wonderful: together. And to top it off my family is coming to visit and I am so ready to see them and spend time with them.

Over the past week I have realized some things and so I will share some of them with you as I enjoy my third cup of coffee:

1) Good conversation is good for the soul. At a host family the other night we sat and talked for two hours. It was great and needed and made me feel at home.

2) People need to be encouraged. The Word tells us this and it is so true. I am realizing that my time to encourage the children and other chaperones is NOW. Every day I have the opportunity to sow truth into each person on this team.

3) I miss driving. It may seem silly, but it has been two months since I have driven and the urge to jump behind the wheel sounds amazing.

4) You don't really need that much stuff to survive. Living out of a suitcase I even feel like I have too much stuff, I can't imagine the purging I will go through when I go home after tour. I like living with less, it somehow simplifies life.

5) I love my friends. I realize how blessed I am. And I miss them. A lot.

6) Sleep is important. Actually it is vital and I am a much happier person when I have more sleep.

7) Wrapping Christmas presents while listening to Christmas music and drinking hot chocolate is wonderful.

8) God has ordained every step that we take. In a conversation today with someone we were talking about how each day, each stay, each place is exactly where God wants us for some reason or another. This isn't limited to the good things or easy things, but everything.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,

who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

Those are a few of the things on my mind...may you have a very restful few days before Christmas. And remember the real reason we celebrate.

1 Corinthians 10:13

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience.

And God is faithful.

He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand.

When you are tempted he will show you a way out so that you can endure."

I love this verse. Full of truth and practicality. And in the times when I doubt and begin to wonder about things this verse pops into my head. Now when someone says "temptation" certain things come to mind. But tonight sitting and thinking I realized perhaps the verse is talking about a bit more. Temptations are the things that steal our time, that fight for our attention. They come in all forms not just material things, but emotions and attitudes.

God puts us in situations, some not easy, and we have a choice:

What will we make of each situation?

From what perspective do I see my situations?

From a Heavenly or Earthly?

A lot to say and nothing to say

So there is so much running through my mind right now and at the same time I don't know how to put them to paper (or in this case, keyboard). The last couple weeks have been pretty standard. We had a three night stay at a Catholic Church. It was great in the fact that we all got to stay together, but at the same time I was relieved to not be sleeping on a self-deflating (during the night) air mattress and walking to the rectory to shower in the morning.

We are now in Long Beach and off to another place tomorrow. It's been rainy the last few days and I have found amusement hearing about the "storm" from the locals. I would call it more of a drizzle, but I guess it is all in perspective.

A couple of thoughts that have been running through my mind that I am trying to understand.

First, how is it possible to want alone time and be lonely at the same time? I go through these times when all I want to do is be alone, and at the same time I am lonely. Perhaps I am lonely for the company of close friends and the security in being surrounded by people where I don't have to be anything other than who I am.

Secondly, how am I affected by the people that I meet? Going through all the churches and venues I have met so many people and the number will continue to increase as tour continues. The hundreds of people I have held conversations with and the numerous host families I have stayed with, how have they affected me? I pray that some of the quirks that I see don't become mine, but at the time I hope that some of the qualities of hospitality and warmth are characteristics that I exude.

Until next time...