Tuned In...

2011

2011-12-24T23:01:00.000-08:00

I learned a lot in 2011. Writing all these things makes me realize how much God has done in my life in just one year. To be completely honest things didn't happen as I had planned or thought. But my perspective is limited, God's is not. I am learning to see the beauty in every moment.

So here are 11 things that I learned/realized/happened upon in 2011 (in no particular order):

1. Change: change is the only constant.
2. Trust: trust in the Lord with all your heart.
3. Faithfulness: He is always faithful and asks us if we will be too.
4. Letting go: there are some relationships that will fade.
5. Embracing the moment: live in today, not worrying about tomorrow.
6. Taking the step: even if others don't understand, take the step He is asking you to take.
7. Contentedness: godliness with contentment is great gain.
8. Memories Made: with friends and family.
9. Transition: not as easy as I thought it would be.
10. Confidence: knowing that I am His, nothing can change that, and I can't do anything to earn that.
11. Growing: let your roots grow down into Him.

I am excited for 2012 and the journey that it will be. I've been thinking and praying about what God has for this new year.

Some words that stand out are:

Expectancy,

Walking Alongside,

and Journeying.

As 2012 nears I ready myself to live each day to the full, to find beauty in the unexpected places of life, to be grateful for the good and the bad, to worship Him with my whole self, and to be a beacon of His hope and light to the lost and hurting.

I hope that this new year for each of you will be met with hopeful expectation.

Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T19:29:00.000-08:00

He has been and always will be.

He wants to be YOUR

Wonderful Counselor,

Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, and

Prince of Peace.

Won't you welcome Him in?

A wedding weekend

2011-12-23T21:25:00.000-08:00

This past weekend one of my dearest friends got married!

After spending a couple of days with my cousins in Kansas City I headed to Springfield.

It was a wonderful weekend full of wedding festivities:

Going to Kai for sushi was a MUST.

Bridal shower time.

Those cupcakes were delicious.

Amy & Dan, the perfect blend.

Bff Ashley at the rehearsal dinner.

Day of the wedding! First stop: Hebrews (favorite coffee shop ever) for some coffee and breakfast!

At the church, the "getting ready" rooms were great!

Hair and makeup

Haha not sure why they put this in the bridal room.

bff

Gorgeous bride!

Waiting for the bride!

Here she comes, isn't she beautiful?!?!

Prayers

First kiss

The happy couple!

Reception time

She caught the bouquet!

Saw Miss Amelia at the wedding!

I then spent the next couple of days with Ashley in Branson.

On my way home. Don't worry, I was stopped in traffic when I took the picture.

A little last minute Christmas shopping with the little brother.

Isn't this the best!?!?

Family Christmas party.

It was cozy and wonderful.

My trip was wonderful and I loved seeing friends. They are my kindred friends and even though I may not see them that often, I treasure the time we have together. I'm so happy for Amy and Dan, I know that they will have a beautiful journey together.

I'm looking forward to this Christmas weekend to celebrate and reflect on Christ our Savior.

One Year

2011-12-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

A year ago today I stood in the corner of an airport dreading the moment that was coming when I would have to say goodbye to the kids and chaperones. After getting a few last hugs the kids headed towards their gate. Then the kids stepped onto the escalator and my heart sunk. All I could think was, "now what?" As I stood there with a few of the other aunties none of us knew what to do. So we cried. Then we headed to the empty and quiet bus, grabbed our suitcases, stepped off, and watched as our home drove away.

I often think back to tour. How could I not? Every day I think of my kids, my fellow chaperones, or the life I had for 15 months.

Things I miss:

the children, living life with them, watching them grow

the chaperones, the community and family that we became

tour life, the adventure of trusting for your daily needs and being grateful for everything whether you sleep on the floor or in a bed

starbucks, not being able to get to it makes it so much more rewarding when you do

the children

exploring this beautiful continent

the children

being forced to grow, you have no choice.

concerts

purpose

There are some days that I can hardly take it. I miss them. My heart aches for them. Part of me hopes they don't forget, that they don't forget the lessons and experiences from tour, and that they don't forget me.

I will always think back to this day. It is a day that is cemented in my heart. Not just this day though, the 15 months leading up to it. So forgive me if I talk about my kids or about my experiences on tour too much. But I want to share what I experienced, I want to tell you about 23 beautiful children who love the Lord and are doing great things, I want to tell you about the chaperones that became my family, I want to tell you about the host families I had and the places I saw.

I look forward to the day when I can see them again, but this time in Africa!!!

Thankfulness

2011-11-24T09:24:00.001-08:00

Thankfulness:
conscious of benefit received; expressive of thanks; well pleased

This Thanksgiving I have much to be thankful for. God has blessed me and poured out His loving kindness. Praying this morning, I began to write down things that I am thankful to God for. Some are major growing things that God is doing inside of me and other things are the simple joys in life. {In no particular order}

Shown Yourself faithful
Grown in my trust & faith in You
Given me strength & perseverance
Taught me where my value comes from
Provided for me to pay my bills
Given me a roof over my head & food
Revealing a community here in this place
Opened opportunities to serve
Blessed with good health
Given me hope for the future
Teaching me Your ways
My 23 beautiful children
The courage to listen to Your will and obey
Memories
The ability to forgive and forget
A family that loves me
The chance to encourage others
A future in You
Beauty all around me
Your creation and the lessons it teaches me
Travel
That I am a reflection of You
You are my Father in Heaven
I am redeemed
There is no condemnation in You
For the dreams You have given to me
Creativity
An education
The experiences I've had
Friends and kindred spirits
Peace of the mind & spirit
Coffee
Joy in any circumstance
Tears
Your guiding hand that never leaves me
Plans to go to Africa (soon!)
A church that is seeking You
Living out who You have called me to be
A heart of compassion
That You have good plans for me
Salvation
Hope for a husband someday
Abundant life
My needs are met
Grace & mercy
Your Word that guides me
Answered prayers
Patience
Family
I am Yours

I have a great deal to be thankful for. This week especially I am thankful for good reports about my kids back in Africa. They are growing in the Lord and doing so well in school. They are growing up quickly. Here is a video of some of the girls from last Thanksgiving while we were at Mirembe House:

George Washington's Thanksgiving Proclamation, 1789:

"It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the Providence of Almighty God,

to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly implore His protection and favor."

Operation Christmas Child

2011-11-12T13:22:00.001-08:00

This is my first year doing Operation Christmas Child. It has been great! I would encourage you to fill a shoe box and bless a child. It is simple and a great way to start off the holiday season.

You can find all the information you need on their website:

Operation Christmas Child

First, wrap a shoe box.

Second, fill the shoe box (you can find a list of recommended items on their website).

I filled mine with: school supplies, personal care items, small etch-a-sketch, a little lamb, a jumprope, candy, and a few other things.

Third, place a label for the age & gender and send!

You can even register your box online to see where it goes.

Be creative! Be a blessing!

What gives me value?

2011-11-06T13:00:00.000-08:00

This video pretty much sums up what I have been growing in and learning the last couple of weeks:

It wasn't until a conversation with this dear friend that I realized just what God wanted me to know. I know that this is nothing new and perhaps I should have known and lived this far before this moment in my life. But, God is gracious with me.

The question of my heart has been: What gives me value?

It is NOT my job status.
It is NOT my education level.
It is NOT what others think of me.
It is NOT how much good I do.
It is NOT how much I sacrifice.
It is NOT what I do or don't do.
It is NOT my relationship status.
Etc...

So, what gives me value?

I believe it is because I am a daughter of the King.
It is because He created and purposed me to love Him before time.
It is because He loves me.

It is as simple as that. But, we run from this don't we? We hide behind our titles and relationships. We barricade our hearts. How dare we be vulnerable and honest with others. There is no way we could show others that we are weak. What if they see that I don't have it all together?

For me, I think Christ is asking me to let go of these things. To lay down what I think others think of me. To lay down what society tells me my value is. Because you see, I am valuable because I am His. Plain and simple. He doesn't love me more or less, ever. His love isn't based on what I do or don't do.

That is the kind of love that I want to receive and that is the kind of love that I want to give.

I want to love my neighbor not based on how well we get along, but because they are created and purposed by God.
I want to love my friends and family not based on what they do for me, but because they are created and purposed by God.
I want to love my (hopefully) future spouse not based on what he does or how he supports me, but because he is created and purposed by God.
I want to love my future children not based on what they do or how well they behave, but because they are created and purposed by God.

This is where freedom is. When we know our value comes from Him and not anything that we do or don't do. I am going to walk in this freedom. Because when I trust Him fully, that is where freedom is to be found.

I needed to be reminded today.

2011-10-25T13:22:00.000-07:00

A bit of reminiscing.

2011-10-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

Some reminiscing for your viewing pleasure.

One of the many things that happened on tour after set-up was finished.

Please note in the video how un-phased Uncle Vic is about it all :)

ArtPrize

2011-10-11T17:31:00.000-07:00

This weekend we had gorgeous weather here in West Michigan. It was celebrated by lots of time spent outside.

^At Robinettes, I love this place.

^I wonder how many coats of paint are on here?

^God's handiwork

ArtPrize...Amy you would love this event.

^This gentleman burned the wood with a magnifying glass. I'm pretty sure he hails from Florida or Texas for this type of art.

^Rules, rules...

^Single sheets of paper cut with an exacto knife.

^Sister in front of the "paper trees."

^I really like all the colors.

^The artist painted all of these on a "spinning" easel.

^Um, okay? Projector with a glass of water on it? It is even for sale.

^Downtown

^Lego man

^Entirely made from duct tape.

^Don't you just LOVE the reflection of the trees in the windows. love.

^The winner of ArtPrize. The artist won $250,000.

^A close up of some of the tiles of the winning piece.

^Monkeys on the bridge =0)

^Sisters

Rosy Mound

^Fall colors.

^I can't get enough.

^A lovely walk with Hilary.

You've Got Mail

2011-10-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

This season has been one of complete trust. That is the only word that really describes what my purpose is day in and day out. I am trusting God with today and tomorrow. I love how God encourages His children through a quiet word, a written note, scripture, prayers, and through...emails. Feeling particularly weary the last few weeks, His encouragement came at just the right time. Today I received two emails reminding me of truth and to keep on trusting.

Email #1

Running Aground by MaryBeth Whalen

“Nevertheless, we must run aground on some island.” Acts 27:26 (NIV)

Have you ever been going along, intent in your calling, certain of your direction, sure of God’s goodness, only to have something happen that throws you completely off course?

When my husband and I resolved to become financially sound, we were dismayed to quickly have an appliance break, shelling out the entire emergency fund we’d built up to repair it. Instead of moving forward we were going backwards.

We had two choices to make at that moment: thank God that we had the money to cover the repair or doubt God’s sovereignty in allowing the appliance to break.

In the book of Acts, chapter twenty-seven, Paul tells the people he is traveling with that God has called them to their mission. Not only that, he is certain the Holy Spirit is on their side. And yet, for reasons he doesn’t go into, we read in our key verse that he also tells them they must run aground, which means they’d be delayed on some island before their purpose would be accomplished.

This delay, it turns out, is part of the plan. This setback is actually sovereign. But of course at that moment they can’t see that. All they can see is a looming shipwreck, a deserted island.

Perhaps you are on your own deserted island—a personal exile that has been painful and prolonged. You wonder if God sees where you are, if He cares. You remember the time you were moving along, the wind in your sails, full speed ahead. And you miss that time. You wish God would rescue you from the island, put you back on course. Perhaps you’re beginning to doubt God really does have a plan for you.

I don’t know what your deserted island looks like. It might be the desolation of a marriage, the barren land of motherhood, the wasteland of a career. It might be the emptiness of simply not knowing what your purpose—your passion—really is, even as you watch other women seem to steam forward.

When I start to feel this way, I think about this verse. I remember that even Paul ran aground, even Paul faced setbacks. But I also remember that the island wasn’t the end of the story. Rescue was coming. Running aground doesn’t mean you’ve run outside of God’s will. It might just mean you are exactly where you’re supposed to be. Use this time to increase your trust in God and to see Him work on your behalf, even when the palm trees obscure your view.

Email #2

The Right Doors Open by Max Lucado

You try one door after another, yet no one responds to your résumé. No university accepts your application. No doctor has a solution for your illness. No buyers look at your house.

Obstacles pack your path. Road, barricaded. Doorway, padlocked. Do you know the frustration of a blocked door?

God uses closed doors to advance his cause.

He closed the womb of a young Sarah so he could display his power to the elderly one.

He shut the palace door on Moses the prince so he could open shackles through Moses the liberator.

He marched Daniel out of Jerusalem so he could use Daniel in Babylon.

And Jesus. Yes, even Jesus knew the challenge of a blocked door. When he requested a path that bypassed the cross, God said no. He said no to Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane so he could say yes to us at the gates of heaven.

It’s not that our plans are bad but that God’s plans are better.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.

“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so my ways are higher than your ways

and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” (Isa. 55:8–9 NLT)

Your blocked door doesn’t mean God doesn’t love you. Quite the opposite. It’s proof that he does.

So today I remember that I am His daughter, called, thought of, and loved.

Pictures of fall

2011-09-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

For man, autumn is a time of harvest,

of gathering together.

For nature, it is a time of sowing,

of scattering abroad.

Edwin Way Teale

Walking and enjoying fall. Contentment.

Saturday morning breakfast with the brother. So good.

My little brother.

(Or maybe I should just say younger brother now.)

A few pictures in an attempt to capture fall and all that it means.

Anyone want to have a cup of coffee?

I love fall. I love the feelings that it brings and what it stands for and encapsulates. This has also been quite the season in life for me personally. God is teaching me so much and growing me closer to Him through it all. In a few words...

I have felt and known God's kindness and love for me.
I have learned that God's timing is perfect.
Change is good.
Resting is vital.
Faithfulness and trust are things that we can have because they are part of who God is and we are reflections of Him.
(and so much more)

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.

He delights in every detail of their lives.

Though they stumble, they will never fall,

for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Psalm 37:23-24

This is a promise for me. And you. I have no doubt that He proclaims this over all of His children.

What do you love about fall?

2011-09-21T19:05:00.000-07:00

Every leaf speaks bliss to me,

fluttering from the autumn tree.

-Bronte

Happy Birthday Peace!

2011-09-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

My last two birthdays were spent on a bus. The first was in Seattle, it was a travel day if I remember right. We arrived to the church after having the mornings with our host families. The team sat me in a chair and the chaperones and kids sang a beautiful version of Happy Birthday to me. I think back to that day and remember thinking that I knew everyone so well. I had been with them for about 2 weeks but it felt like 2 years.

The second birthday was in Haines, Alaska. It was beautiful. By this time on tour, after knowing everyone for a true year, we realized that it was Peace's birthday as well. She is my birthday twin, a few years younger and from a different continent, but my birthday twin all the same.

Today I am missing her especially as I think back to my last birthday. We stayed at the same host family and so I was able to wake her up with a happy birthday and a hug!!! We then walked to the church (the town was pretty small and quaint) and Peace and I were greeted downstairs to a tunnel of our family singing Happy Birthday and dancing. There was a lot of joy and laughter. I felt loved and cared about. Mel gave me a beautiful cake that she made and Stacy was so kind as to schedule my day off for me that day!!!! Mel, Amy, and I then set out to explore Haines.

We found a coffee shop first off and then walked and walked some more. The ocean was gorgeous and then we stumbled upon a great local cafe/grocery store. We had a good lunch sitting among lots of hippies and fishermen. After going back to the church we picked up Chelsea and wandered some more and took some photos. It was a lovely day. One that I will always remember.

I changed a lot from my first birthday on tour to my second. I learned how to see life through my beautiful childrens' eyes. I learned a lot about patience and unconditional love. And now here I am another year older. Lessons have been learned in this season. Some painful, some beautiful, all good. I don't know what God has planned for this next season of my life, but I am trusting Him no matter what. For His timing is perfect.

My heart aches today for Peace. I want to be with her to celebrate her turning another year older, but I can only wish her a Happy Birthday from afar. This is my birthday prayer for her.

Lord, I ask that you would overflow blessings to Peace as she turns another year older. May her character deepen, her love increase, and her devotion to you grow deep roots. As she grows into a young lady guide her footsteps. May she know that she is beautiful and special and unique. I pray that she will feel valued and esteemed today. And most of all Lord may she know that she is loved.

I love you Peace. Happy Birthday sweet girl.

Abide.

2011-08-02T15:35:00.000-07:00

I'm reading a book and the author talks about this topic that has caught my heart and mind. The word is ABIDE. Looking more into this word I began my search in John 15. Verse 4 says, "Abide in Me, and I will remain in you." Verse 5 says, "Yes, I am the Vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." Verse 8 says, "When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father."

If I'm not abiding in Him, all other things are useless. All my striving and planning and dreaming will be null if I'm not seeking Him. When I think of abide other words that come to mind are: stay, remain, keep, survive, obey, follow.

Definition [verb]: accept or act in accordance with.

Abide never ends. It doesn't end at work, when we eat, or when we go out. It doesn't start when we go to church, when we quiet ourselves. Abide just is, we are consistently in a state of remaining in Him. We are practicing a lifestyle of constant prayer and communication. As we abide, the relationship with Christ that will blossom will be one of intimacy and knowing.

There is great promise when we abide, He will remain in us. What greater promise is there? No human can offer that same promise, not because of not wanting but because they are human and control nothing.

As He remains in us He promises to prune us to help us grow and He promises that fruit will grow. Good and lasting fruit. As we abide we will grow in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. The true testament of where our roots are planted. And the purpose? To know Him and to bring Him glory. And that shall be my aim, to abide in Him; because knowing Him is worth more that life itself.

To know Christ is life's greatest achievement.

L. B. Cowman

why I love MI and good friends

2011-07-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

The past couple of days have been filled with:

^Worship on the Waterfront

^Good friends

^Beautiful sunsets

^Pier walking

^"Look! It's a lake!"

^the musical fountain

^Kayaking, thanks to Chelsea's strong muscles we loaded them all by ourselves

^on Spring Lake

^Looking for adventure

^Does life get any better?

^this is one of the reasons I love MI

^Blueberry picking

^Pick one, eat one. Pick one, eat one. As it should be.

^a pretty good "harvest"

^our scrumptious fresh blueberry pie, so good!

^Rosy Mound for a walk to the lake

^Beautiful, why yes.

^the perfect end to the last few days.

the making of some wonderful memories

2011-07-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

Wow. What an incredibly full couple of weeks I have had. To say that I have been blessed would be an understatement. This time has been pre-ordained by God. No amount of planning on my part could have allowed me to even imagine it. The last 7 months since the end of tour have been full of much waiting. I have sought God's will and timing about what the next step is and His response so far has been "REST". After the last couple of weeks I feel so blessed. God planned this part of my story. My Father is writing my story.

Some pictures of the last couple of weeks...

^Mat Kearney concert with my sister

^Family vacation

^Discovered poems and God's fireworks

^Choir 37 was hosted by my church!!!

^Fun at the beach

^Time spent with the Choir, Eron and Sonia

^Road trip to New York, with a pit stop at the Falls

^Time spent in NY with lovely friends

^Reunion with (some of) my Choir 35 family

^Mel this is for you...Chelsea wasn't quite ready...oops!

^A jaunt through Hoffmaster to the Lake

^Dune rides, oh so much fun (request Weasie if you go)

^We climbed a lighthouse

^M22 drive

^Conquering Sleeping Bear Dunes, well close enough :)

^Traverse City

^Nothing is better than a Michigan sunset

And the adventure continues...

if we really believed

2011-07-04T06:28:00.000-07:00

If we really believed that eternity waited for us on the other side of this brief life...

We would fear less and risk more
We would live our lives more like pilgrims and less like packrats
We would be more concerned with being a friend than being without friends
We would be more comfortable with weakness and less trusting of control
We would pray more and process less
We would be more concerned with souls and less impatient with personalities
We would expend more energy worshiping and less worrying
The world would see God more, and we would see ourselves less

*from a devotional from Alicia Britt Chole

mat kearney concert!

2011-06-29T19:18:00.000-07:00

Tonight I get to see Mat Kearney in concert. I. am. so. excited!

^love this new song :)

Surprise! Choir 37!

2011-06-26T20:40:00.000-07:00

(written yesterday, but posted today...)

After weeks of keeping a secret, today finally came. I surprised Auntie Chelsea, Uncle Vic, and Choir 37. It was a lovely day. And before these chocolate covered espresso beans wear off I'm going to attempt to lay out some of my thoughts.

1) I love the Choir.

2) Choir 37 is a lighthearted and wonderful team. (Thanks for letting me tag along today.)

3) I realized today that I don't think there is a definite end to this whole "debrief" thing for me. I am changed because of tour. Things will always remind me of my kids and team, I will always be missing them. I am learning that I should use those reminders to lift them up in prayer and to be thankful for the time that I had with them.

4) I should have run more with the kids on tour :)

5) It's incredible how I walked into the church with my ACC shirt on and felt right back on tour. Someone asked me about a cd and my explanation that I had probably said hundreds of time (but haven't said in the last six months) came pouring out.

6) God likes to redeem things. Not always in ways that we understand.

7) I can't wait for them to make it to my church in just a couple of weeks. That's right, I get to be a DP.

8) I miss my kids. I realize though that they are were they are supposed to be. As am I.

9) Looking at Bob reminded me of Rogers the whole day.

10) I love watching and hearing the audience respond to the concert, so much encouragement in the room. I especially loved the lady at the concert who went and threw money on the stage.

11) Attitude changes everything. This is linked to perspective I think, or what we choose to perceive sometimes.

12) Surprises are great.

13) Being on tour changes you. God can use the setting and experiences to grow and nurture such good things in your life if you are willing.

14) I miss the community that tour brings.

15) I miss unloading/setting up/tear-down. (Weird I know)

16) God's plan is better than mine.

A few pictures from the day...

^on my way!

^morning concert in Hudsonville (aren't they beautiful)

^they LOVE to dance

^oH HapPy dAy

^together again :) complete with freezie drinks from Bigby

^Rogers' (from my choir) cousin Bob, they look so much alike

^this reminds me of Auntie Mel a.k.a. expert shaker like the girls

^love this dance!

So thankful for my time with 37.

Blessings.

2011-06-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I was so blessed to be able to skype with my kids from Kenya! As I was chatting and laughing with them I could see how well they are each doing. Some of them have matured so much in the last 6 months. Some of them have grown taller. A common thread though is that they have all returned home.

This was a hard thing for me to grasp and honestly it has taken me this many months to realize it. Tour was an incredible experience for them and me. We learned and grew together. They heard truth and received love. We bonded through living life together. Tour was a part of their journey and a part of mine.

But now they are home. They are living the next part of their journey. These children are exactly where they are supposed to be, in Africa, receiving an incredible education, growing closer to their families, and seeing the world through a different set of eyes. I believe that what these children learned and experienced on tour will give them the courage to take steps of faith.

I will never lose the bond that I have with them. The way that I show my love and care isn't from the next seat over on the bus, it is from across an ocean. Before when I could show love through simple words or action, now it is through prayers and letters.

I pray that I will be able to see them again, that I will be able to wrap my arms around them and say "I love you" in person. Until that day though, I will love them through prayers and letters (and the occasional skype call).

^this one is a bit dark, but it is Deborah and her friend Mary (from 34)

^Charity, Priscillah, Naomi, and Esther

^Charity :)

^Charity and Priscillah

^Ivy and Benson

Thank you Uncle Tony for letting all these Choir 35 chaperones talk and see the kiddos. You rock.

Thank you Lord for watching over each of these children and ordaining their steps. You have such good plans for them.

I am ready to say YES.

2011-05-22T20:25:00.000-07:00

I feel that for the last few months I've said no to so many things that have come along. After much prayer and wisdom from friends and my parents there have been countless decisions that I have had to say "no" to. I know that I made the right decision(s), but now I am ready to say "yes". I am ready to say "yes" to something that God has planned out and already written for me. I refuse to doubt God's timing and plan. If He asks me to continue to wait I will do that. I will wait until He tells me I can say "yes".

easter

2011-04-24T19:45:00.000-07:00

Easter weekend...

...lovely lake michigan...
...don't you just love the beach...
...my burned hair, not really the way you want to start out your day, stupid curling iron...
...clues to find our easter baskets...
...the youngest brother and I, he is much taller but I was cheating wearing heals...
...the two brothers and me...

...my very cute (but not very obedient) misha...

...let's dye some easter eggs...

...exactly my point.

I had a wonderful/relaxing/reflective Easter weekend.

I am so thankful for the sacrifice He made for you and me.

The disciples saw Jesus do many other miraculous signs in addition to the ones recorded in this book. But these are written so that you may continue to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing in him you will have life by the power of his name.

John 20:30-31

anonymous

2011-04-16T17:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever read something and it clicked? It made sense and your spirit felt a sense of comfort and relief that the words on your heart are on paper as well. This passage from Alicia Britt Chole's book anonymous did just that for me. So if you want a glimpse into my thoughts and heart here you go.

A century ago, a few fragile seeds fell upon rocky soil. Through drought and flood, they clung tightly to earth, stubbornly stretching toward the heavens. Today, silver maple, post oak, and black walnut trees surround our home like tall, loyal sentinels. Their intricate, mingled root systems support the ground below. Their long, angular boughs weave a canopy above. Before I was, they were. My elders by many decades, their presence is steadying.

In the heat, I rest under the covering of their rich foliage. Bursting with shades of green, the leaves dance in the breeze. Winter's reduction is coming, but that does not halt the dance. Trees celebrate the moment, temporary though it is. In the spring, their new growth sings of hope. Their lush greenery offers peace in the summer. In the fall, their colorful collages inspire creativity. And in their emptiness, tress grace the winter with silent elegance.

Though my skin prefers their role in summer, somehow my soul prefers their lessons in winter. Then, when growth pauses, the trees have often become my teachers.

What the plenty of summer hides, the nakedness of winter reveals: infrastructure. Fullness often distracts from foundations. But in the stillness of winter, the trees' true strength is unveiled. Stripped of decoration, the tree trunks become prominent.

As a child I always colored tree trunks brown, but to my adult eyes they appear to be more of a warm gray. Starting with their thick bases, I begin studying each tree. Buckling strips of bark clothe mile after mile of weathered branches. Leafless, the trees feature their intricate support systems. Detail is visible, as is dead wood. Lifeless limbs concealed by summer's boasting are now exposed.

My eyes glide from one rough, uneven bough to another and then to the terminal, delicate twigs. A tree's posture is all-open, like arms ready for an embrace. So very vulnerable, yet so very strong. I find the display quieting and full of grace.

In winter, are the trees bare? Yes.

In winter, are the trees barren? No.

Life still is.

Life does not sleep - though in winter she retracts all advertisement. And when she does so, she is conserving and preparing for the future.

And so it is with us. Seasonally, we too are stripped of visible fruit. Our giftings are hidden; our abilities are underestimated. When previous successes fade and current efforts falter, we can easily mistake our fruitlessness for failure.

But such is the rhythm of spiritual life: new growth, fruitfulness, transition, rest...new growth, fruitfulness, transition, rest. Abundance may make us feel more productive, but perhaps emptiness has greater power to strengthen our souls.

In spiritual winter, our fullness is thinned so hat, undistracted by our giftings, we can focus upon our character. In the absence of anything to measure, we are left with nothing to stare at except for our foundation.

Risking inspection, we begin to examine the motivations that support our deeds, the attitudes that influence our words, the dead wood otherwise hidden beneath our busyness. Then a life changing transition occurs as we move from resistance through repentance to the place of rest. With gratitude, we simply abide. Like a tree planted by living water, we focus upon our primary responsibility: remaining in him.

In winter are we bare? Yes.

In winter are we barren? No.

True life still is.

The Father's work in us does not sleep - though in spiritual winters he retracts all advertisement. And when he does so, he is purifying our faith, strengthening our character, conserving our energy, and preparing us for the future.

The sleepy days of winter hide us so that seductive days of summer will not ruin us.

(just a silly picture I found in photobooth)

It's not easy being a farmer.

2011-04-03T14:19:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would be a farmer but I seem to be one. Of sorts. Recently this imagery of farming has shown up quite a bit in my life. I am realizing that there are lots of similarities between farming and my life.

First, there are seasons. Farming is built on seasons and the weather. Without them nothing of value lasts. In my own life I am in one of the more difficult seasons. One where waiting and patience need to be at the forefront. There is growth right now but it is slow and not always easy (and not always visible). It takes trust. Just as a farmer waits in this season for his crops to be ready, if he harvests too soon all will be lost. So in this season of my life I am trusting and waiting until He calls me to the next season. It is hard. Other "farmers" are harvesting and yet still I wait. I look at their harvest longingly and remind myself that it is not my time to harvest yet. But is this is the season Christ desires me in this is where I will stay because patience yields endurance which yields character. I am finding that this season is one where I walk alone the majority of the time. I don't know why, perhaps He is trying to teach me more things. He is giving me a heart of reliance on Him, still it is hard when you have a sensitive heart.

Second, just as a farmer tends to the soil all year I will tend to mine. The soil is where nutrients and life are pulled from. It is here in my life that I will focus making sure that my soil is rich in the nutrients of truth and character and perseverance. And into that soil of my heart I will only allow truth to grow. All weeds and distractions, things that pull me away from reaping a full harvest I will pull out and remove. This is also not easy.

All of these things take hard work. How I wish some of the seasons were easier. I wish that all could be full of harvest and that we would never have to go through times of drought or loss. That is not the case though. I will continue to wait. I know that some days are going to be difficult (I have had some of these already) and I know some days will be full of joy. I trust though that God is developing and readying me for the next season.

I have a new respect for farmers.

Lord, make me into a better farmer.

Spring please come.

2011-03-22T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well I am heading home from my little vacation. I spent almost a week in Springfield and then a few days in Kansas City. I had a wonderful time with friends that I hadn't seen in a year and family that I hadn't seen in almost as long. Time flies doesn't it? While in Springfield I was able to hit up some of my favorite spots with friends. I love friendships where even if you haven't seen the person in quite a while it doesn't seem to matter at all. My kindred spirits I like to call them.

one of the kindred spirits

And now I am sitting in the Chicago station waiting for my train that will take me back home. I am not looking forward to the cold. I was spoiled with warm weather and now I am afraid I will have to go back to snow. Well, here's to wishing that spring will come quickly.

I've also realized that I don't much care to travel alone. I keep on wanting to turn and talk to someone and realize all these people don't know me and I don't know them. Everyone's face seems familiar though in a way.

As I am heading home I have hopes and dreams for what is going to happen. I am finishing my cover letters and preparing to send them out this week. I am nervous, excited, scared, hopeful, nervous, and a bit more excited. Pray with me as I send out these pieces of paper. I'm hoping one of these organization may have a fiery bush story, that my resume and cover letter would ignite before them (leaving my name and phone number of course.)

Well, here's to the rest of the week. Whatever it may hold.

It's been so long...

2011-03-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I haven't posted on here in so long. I am in Kansas City staying with my good friend/cousin right now. My brain has been whirling with thoughts and ideas the last week or so. I don't know how to articulate them however. On another note it has been beautiful weather here and I am sad to have to return to Michigan's cold and snowy tundra. I am hoping that spring beats me to Michigan, that would be lovely.

I will write some more soon. I need to organize and formulate all these thoughts in my head. Where to begin?

radical

2011-02-07T14:32:00.000-08:00

I'm currently reading Radical by David Platt and it has shaken me. The truth that is spoken is not heard much from the pulpit, who really wants to hear that Christ demands that we put everything down and follow Him? These ideas have been stirring within my spirit and I am excited, scared, and excited. Christ's words call me away from the "American Dream" and they lead me to the heart of my Father.

Platt, in the book, speaks on how this generation is seeking God's will and God's plan when He has already given it to us: He desires that all men should KNOW HIM. That is what my life's purpose and will should be for. Everything and anything that I do should be pointing others to Christ. That may be from the U.S. or Africa or Australia I just don't know yet.

So what is it going to look like for me to live sacrificially? It's not going to be "normal" and it's not going to make much sense to people, but that's okay because He is worth it. His cause is worth it. They are worth it. The billions of people who have never heard His name deserve to hear the precious and life giving words of Christ. Who am I to store the truth in my heart but never tell anyone else?

Some scriptures that shed light on the issue:

Matthew 10:38-39

If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.

Matthew 16:24

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.

Luke 18:22

When Jesus heard his answer, he said, “There is still one thing you haven’t done. Sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

The man from Luke loved his possessions and wealth more than God. He was faced with the choice: am I going to give it all up for Christ? am I willing to sacrifice my earthly wealth? You see, I don't think that Christ was asking this man to give it all up for the fun of it. Christ wanted this man's full self. He wanted all of him. Just like He wants all of us. And in return we receive treasure that doesn't rust and decay. Christ's question remains: will we lay it all down, follow me, and become His disciple?

Follow me. Said numerous times throughout Christ's ministry, He beckoned people to follow Him and become His disciples. Christ is calling each of us to follow Him. He may be calling me to sell all that I have to give to the poor. He may be calling you to go overseas and tell people about Himself. He may be calling me to give more than I have given so far, to use the blessings that He has given me to bless His people in need. He may be calling you to use your gifts to build homes and schools for those without. He may be calling me to buy a meal for the homeless women. He is calling us to follow Him, to be His disciples.

We are His plan to . . . go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Matthew 28:19-20

I am challenging myself to open His Word and do what He is calling me to do.

Radical video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZfC7vAbte4&feature=related

I am learning.

2011-01-30T17:10:00.000-08:00

I am learning that God is the only one who will never disappoint me.

I am learning that faith doesn't always look like what people expect and that is okay.

I am learning that I don't need anyone's time schedule except for God's.

I am learning that it is okay to grieve some things.

I am learning to be confident in these things.

I am learning a lot. Some of it is painful, it is not comfortable. It is God asking me to step away from other's approval and ideas and step into His. And this is good and it is right where I want to be. It is getting to a deep relationship with my Heavenly Father. My relationship and walk with Him is not going to make much sense in this world because I am living for eternity. I am living for my true home.

Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.

Colossians 3:1-4

The best cake baked in a mug ever.

2011-01-22T19:26:00.000-08:00

Thanks to this wonderful and dear friend (http://www.amycherie.blogspot.com/) I am the proud new owner of this wonderful cookbook!

101 Recipes for Microwave Mug Cakes

Please note there was no confusion this time about the size of a pinch of salt, for those of you who were wondering ;)

Step One: choose one of the 101 recipes...Bakes Apple Vanilla is the winner this time

Step Two: mix ingredients together and pour into your favorite mug

Step Three: microwave. and for my friends who don't like microwaves don't worry I didn't stare inside too long.

Step Four: finished product. i'll make one for you if you want, there are 100 more recipes to try!

Below are some of the reasons the book gives as to why MMC (Microwave Mug Cakes) are so wonderful. Don't even worry that there is specific lingo, like MMC, for this new field of baking.

When you want a snack
When you deserve a reward
When everyone wants a different flavor
When you want something homemade
When it's too hot to turn on the oven
When it's too cold to go out and buy something
When a whole cake is too much
When you're trying to impress someone
When you have a late night
When you want to make somebody feel special
When you need a lift
On Monday morning
When someone drops by unexpectedly and you need something to serve
When you want to cheer someone up
When you want to say "well done"
When you want to say "thank you"
When you want to say "I'm sorry"

And there are probably a hundred more reasons why MMC are so wonderful :)

i had a dream...

2011-01-15T07:16:00.000-08:00

last night I had a dream that was...interesting. it involved touring with choir 35 again (which was wonderful) and a hot air balloon of sorts. i hope i can accurately describe our means of transportation to a benefit show. here goes...the top was the lounge of a ferry (very much like the one we spent lots of time on in alaska), the middle was about a 300 foot long solid tube of balloons (like party balloons, the ones that can pop way too easily), and the bottom was a camper. now i don't know how it worked, but in my dream it was quite wonderful.

we flew, there were some adventurous moments, and in the end we made it to the show.

Wintery days in Michigan

2011-01-12T17:44:00.000-08:00

Some views from my walk through the snow.

What bridges have you crossed lately?

I am learning that life is made up of steps.

One step of faith after the other.

And our final destination is Heaven.

Merry Christmas {eve}!!!

2010-12-24T16:21:00.000-08:00

Today I finished my Christmas shopping with my little brother.

I tried to teach him how to wrap gifts after that, but I think I failed.

His finished product:

He didn't really like my tips that much as you can clearly see.

That's okay, I found much joy out of watching him wrap gifts :)

{photo booth fun}

2010-12-19T19:35:00.000-08:00

the kids loved photo booth

here are just a few of my favorite silly faces

{one week}

2010-12-13T08:14:00.000-08:00

one week ago i said goodbye to Choir 35. i have begun the transition into a stationary and different life. for some reason I couldn't envision life after tour, I thought it would end. but it hasn't. life still goes on. relationships grow in different ways with different people, but there is still growth. i actually haven't made it home yet. i spent a few days in D.C. with the aunties and am now in Georgia with my best friend catching up after 18 months. tomorrow I fly home.

there are things I miss.

laughing with the kids and chaperones

living on a bus

holding the hand of a precious child

being called auntie

i realize these are all relational things. relationships change.

and i am learning that is beautiful. because where there is change there is potential and potential has the ability to bear fruit. that is the point of life to bear fruit. Christ calls us to bear good and lasting fruit. yes i will miss the kind of relationships that i had with these children and chaperones, but i know that God is placing us each in a place where we can bear more good and lasting fruit. He is placing us specifically for a purpose. relationships change, but it is good.

{a lovely little song]

2010-12-07T18:34:00.000-08:00

A few days ago Esther was singing this little song while we were spending some time together...

...now as she is no longer with me I am cherishing this song. I hope you do to.

{sweet dreams}

2010-12-05T19:52:00.001-08:00

Tonight was our last night. I gave my last goodnight hugs/I love you's to the kids. I tucked them in bed for the last time and in a few minutes I will go in and check on them before I go to bed. In less than 24 hours they will be on a plane heading for Africa. Their planes will touch down and they will be greeted by families and friends who have been missing them for the last 16 months. They will be welcomed home with great fanfare but on the other side of the ocean myself and 3 Aunties will be wondering what to do with ourselves. We will get ready for bed and have no children to tuck in.

As promised in the Word though I have PEACE. I know that it is time for them to go back home, to integrate back into life and school, to go and tell those they love about their experiences and changes on tour. The sermon at church this morning was about the Peace that comes from Christ. It surpasses our human intellect and understanding. It comes when we need it the most. This Peace comes from God who is good and thinks good things about His children.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation,

by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

And the PEACE of God,

which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7

Christ promises a Peace that guards our hearts and minds. What a beautiful picture. As the last of our cleaning and packing was wrapping up tonight, Chelsea looked at me and we paused in the Peace that we felt. Deep within our hearts we know that it will be okay, we know that God is in control. Our faith is in that fact. I am confident because of it. How blessed I am. And as we say goodbye to these children this Peace will overwhelm our hearts. Yes, we will still feel the emotions of goodbyes, but these goodbyes will be said with our Father looking on saying,

"You have finished the race. I am so proud of you."

And Choir 35 will part ways, but we will always be a family. . .

some pictures from church today:

{in one moment}

2010-12-04T03:46:00.001-08:00

I am watching the sunrise this morning. If you know me, you know that I am not a morning person. I never have been and while tour has helped me work to change this, waking up at 5:30 a.m. is still early to me. It was an early morning as I had to say goodbye to 2 of my boys. They are going to Choir 37 for a bit to help them out. As I hugged Jonah and Reagan my heart ached. What do you say in a moment like that? I was given 16 months to tell them all the things they needed to hear and it came down to one moment. I gave them one last hug and I told them how proud of them I am and how much I love them.

I have loved them, cared for them, cried with them, prayed with them, struggled with them for 16 months and on Monday I will have to say goodbye to 19 more children. Last night after the children said their goodbyes to these two boys, Ivy looked at me and said "Auntie, you are so brave, you aren't crying." And then Charity responded with, "Ivy, you can be brave and still cry."

And on Monday I will be brave. I will say goodbye to 21 children that have affected my life so deeply. I will no longer wake up early so I can get the kids ready. I won't tuck them into bed and giggle and laugh and pray with them. No longer will I hear the chatter. Things are changing. We are stepping into the unknown and things are changing. Perhaps that is the scary part of change, the unknown. For 16 months we have lived pretty consistent and normal lives and all of the sudden in one moment things change. Life will become consistent and normal for all of us in different ways now. For now though I am living in these last moments, in these last 3 days.

Lord, be with us as we change and step into the unknown. Life is changing for 29 people who have become a family. Guide us and direct us as our paths head different directions now. Thank you that our paths crossed for these months, even if only for a bit of time in our lives.

Lord, make me brave. Even with my tears I will be brave and face the future with confidence that the Creator is in control. And in these last few days we will celebrate together. We will look at the faithfulness of our God and rejoice together. We have run the race, we have finished what we set out to do. We have had the courage to live out these 16 months fully and that is what has made us brave for this moment.

{packing my bags}

2010-12-01T17:01:00.000-08:00

For the last couple days we have been tirelessly sorting through suitcases that will be sent home with the children. These suitcases will last them for a couple of years and they are full of bedding, towels, clothing, school supplies, shoes, soccer ball, and a Bible. (A HUGE thank you to the families that sponsored these for our dear and deserving children.) The children were ecstatic to try everything on and see all the lovely things they received. This process however gave me visions of the children back home. The end is soon, 5 days. I am tired to be honest. Today I think my emotions have caught up with me. There is also so much to get done in these last days.

I look up to the mountains;

does my strength come from mountains?

No, my strength comes from God,

who made heaven, and earth,

and mountains.

Psalm 121:1

I am off to pack my bag now. Let's hope all my things fit inside of it :0)

{every season}

2010-11-28T09:54:00.001-08:00

One week from tomorrow and tour will be finished. The process of goodbyes and de-briefing and change are in full force. I am listening to Shane and Shane's Christmas CD (which is a must in your holiday music collection) while thinking about the end. Is this all really over in just a week? Is it really going to happen? Part of me feels like tour will never end, that I will always be with the children, but I know that's not true. Soon they will head home. I will miss the noise of the children playing and laughing. Life will be different without them. My life is going to change.

I wish I knew what I would be doing after tour. How I wish I knew exactly where I would be living and where I would be working. There are a lot of decisions that will be made in the next few weeks. Some decisions will be hard and some will be exciting. I am praying not for ease in the decisions that will be made, but for peace and guidance from God. I am taking steps that I have never taken before. It all finds it way back to one word however: TRUST.

Trust in One who is faithful and just. Trust in my Father.

It is an adventure, I am embarking into uncharted territory unsure of where I will go. But I have the most experienced guide and that will make all the difference. He who is guiding me is the one who created and planned it all so I have nothing to fear.

Tonight in devotions Auntie Stacy and Deborah taught the children a beautiful song: "Desert Song". As I listened to the children singing I prayed that this truly would be our prayer.

This is my prayer in the desert

And all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in the hunger in me

My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith proved

Of more worth than gold

So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle

And triumph is still on it's way

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life

In every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest

When favor and providence flow

I know I'm filled to be empited again

The seed I've recieved I will sow

I have been blessed these 15 months and I am ready to pour out some of the blessing I have received. Lord empty me.

{happy thanksgiving}

2010-11-25T17:57:00.000-08:00

A lovely day spent playing, walking to the lake, eating, and relaxing.

One year ago I was in Dinuba, CA.

Today Thanksgiving was spent on the other side of the country in North Carolina.

What a journey this year has been.

{bitter or sweet changes}

2010-11-23T08:04:00.000-08:00

Today was most likely my last day off on tour. I spent it at Panera, checking things off my to-do list while listening to country music and sipping on an unlimited amount of coffee. Less than two weeks until the children fly home. My mind is full of thoughts about this. Bittersweet completely sums up how I am feeling. It will be so hard to say goodbye, to say that last 'I Love You' and give the last hug. But part of this journey coming to a close is sweet. Sweet to reconnect with family back home. Sweet for the children to enter back into their countries and homes, to see their families again. But right now it is bitter. My heart will ache and I will grieve saying goodbye. I've never been good at goodbyes. Perhaps that's okay. Maybe it's okay for me to feel and grieve and process. That's part of life. That's part of change.

I think of the changing seasons and the vast amount of things that change to our sight, but there are also the things that happen beneath the surface, unknown to the human eye. It's these small, minute changes that affect what we can see. God is preparing me for change right now. And I am standing on Christ. The only One who doesn't change. In James it says He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He is steadfast. He is immovable. He is unwavering. While life turns and changes all around us, He is there guiding and supporting.

Today was a good day.

Full of time to reflect, talk to friends and family, sip coffee, and change.

Because today I changed.

I was changed when I listened to "Pastor" Reagan preach from Psalms 4:8 tonight. He encouraged our dear family to remember that they have nothing to fear, that God is watching over them and protecting them. We sleep in peace because God never sleeps. Someday soon Reagan will go back to his family and sit and tell them what he has learned about God and it will change that family. And when Reagan grows up he will stand and preach truth to those who need to hear.

{meet Pastor Reagan}

So right now some of these changes are bitter and some are sweet, but they are all good.

{a beautiful sunday}

2010-11-21T18:07:00.000-08:00

Highlights from today:

Going to church and worshipping with the kids. Faith stood next to me and as we lifted our hands we sang "because You're with me, I will not fear" and my heart soared. Wherever we are, whether in Africa or the U.S., we have nothing to fear because He is with us.
Talking with Naomi on the bus heading back to the house about the end of tour. Really I have no better way to put it than her own words: "Auntie, this is hard. I don't know how to change because I've never had to do this before."
Sunday afternoon nap :0)
Playing soccer until the sun went down. Watching the boys and Brenda tough it out on the field, holding nothing back. "Defending" with Derrick, he did most the work, but it was still fun.
Devotions led by Auntie Stacy. She talked about Noah and walking with God. Noah didn't really know what God was asking him to do. He was told to build some huge contraption surrounded by people who ridiculed and mocked him, but he was faithful to God. Because of his faithfulness he walked alongside and talked with God. This intimate relationship allowed Noah to know God's heart and take the steps necessary to fulfill God's plan. How I desire such a relationship with Him where I know His heart so deeply that I follow Him where He is calling me to change. Growth is impossible without change and as Choir 35 sat in a circle, I realized how close change really is.
Hugs/I Love You's/Goodnights from the children

It was a beautiful sunday.

Quite the day.

2010-11-19T17:46:00.000-08:00

15 months exactly. (Happy anniversary Choir 35!)

Last show of tour.

Two milestones that are colliding at one time: today.

This journey has taken so many different turns and directions. It has been incredible. The last couple weeks spent with the kids will be memorable. I want to soak in every moment, make every hug last a few seconds longer, say I love you just a few more times. I love them deeply.

I wonder what these last 15 months have prepared me for, what they have prepared the kids for. There are things that are in their hearts for eternity. I have so many hopes and dreams for these dear children.

For Naomi,

I pray she will grow into a powerful woman of God who spreads His hope with passion and conviction.

For Derrick,

I hope he will realize the strength of his character and his forgiving spirit that enables him to change lives.

For Deborah,

I pray she will continue to laugh deeply. That joy would well up within her and the light would come from the joy of her salvation.

For Brian,

I hope he will bring change with his quiet yet strong voice.

And the list goes on and on for all 23 children. Only God knows the paths they will choose. My deepest desire is that they would serve Him all the days of their lives, glorifying the One who gives them life. I've become so attached to their beautiful hearts. This must be how a parent feels. This immense amount of hope that your child will be blessed, cared for, protected, known, loved. If only I could stay with them forever (how blessed I would be) but it's not about me, it is about these children. It is about them returning home and changing Africa for His glory. They are children of the Most High and they will walk in the shadow of His wings.

When I think of these children my mind and heart race and dream about the other children out there that need His hope. The children that haven't heard yet that they have a Father that loves them. James 1:27 resounds in my heart: "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." Somewhere, somehow I will care for the ones in distress, for the ones that need an outreached hand. Tour is ending, yet I have a feeling there are exciting things ahead. There are lives that need to be touched and healed. I wish with all that I am that I didn't have to say goodbye to James, Reagan, Naomi, Esther, Grace, Deborah, Charity, Alex, John, Rogers, Ritah, Ruth, Faith, Derrick, Benson, Peace, Brenda, Ivy, Eunice, Jonah, Brian, Stella, and Priscillah, but I know it is almost time.

The Beginning of The End

2010-11-16T18:29:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the tears just come. Not for long, just for a few minutes when I realize that the children will be leaving soon. I imagine us all at the airport hugging amidst a wave of tears clinging as tight as we can and I realize that moment is soon. It scares me. How do you say goodbye to the people, to the family that you’ve just spent the last 15½ months with? What do you do with your days? How do you fill the void of no longer answering questions all day from eager minds or laughing over the silliest of things? This has been life 24/7 for over a year. The best way I know to begin to process all of this is to live in the moment, enjoying these last weeks with the children to the fullest. I know that they aren’t mine; they have families in Africa eagerly awaiting their return. God entrusted me with them for this time and soon that time will come to an end. And when these precious children depart I will rejoice in the moments and days that I was able to spend with them. I will count myself as blessed to have known and struggled and rejoiced with them. I won’t see them face-to-face but I will pray for them and think about them often. I wish I knew how to better put into words what I am feeling and thinking.

My brain is whirling with thoughts. There is a time for everything and I think that part of the process of changing times is allowing myself to feel in that moment. We were made to feel and experience life, which is why God designed us with emotions. Tour has been wonderful and life changing and I will think back on it as a foundational part in my life. I have been sculpted and formed into the woman I am by these incredible children and chaperones. God has used these people to show me so much. He has shown me parts of me that need to change and welcomes me to grow into His image more each day.

There has been a word on my heart lately that resounds over and over: righteous. I’ve been asking myself if what I am doing, from the smallest to the largest thing, is being done with an honest, truthful, righteous heart and spirit. Scriptures in both the Old and New Testaments speak of living a righteous life and it is the righteous that will inherit the Kingdom. I find this an interesting word for me as tour is ending. Of course things such as endurance, finishing strong, and perseverance come to my mind. I am excited to see what He teaches me as I study and ponder this word some more the next few weeks.

In all that I am learning and experiencing I am so blessed. Last night during prayers with Ruth and Ivy we prayed about home and the end of tour. Then Ivy and Ruth decided to pray for me. Their prayers were precious and innocent. Ivy’s prayer was “Lord, help Auntie to find a job after tour” and Ruth’s was “Lord, help Auntie to find somewhere to work. Bless her oh Lord. Thank you for giving her coffee today.” My kids know me so well.

.thoughts from a hotel room.

2010-11-10T20:54:00.001-08:00

designing Christmas cards
sipping coffee from the Starbucks located in my hotel
knowing that the end is near
unsure how to process that fact
my heart breaking that soon I won't hug these precious children
how do I begin to work through that fact?
standing on the strength of the One who called me here, for He knows what He is doing. His timing is perfect. He is good. He will mend my heart.

.armor bearer/world changer.

2010-11-07T10:59:00.000-08:00

In staff devotions this week I was challenged by a message from 1 Samuel (thank you Auntie Mel). In chapter 14 Jonathan decides to leave camp without telling anyone and only takes his young armor bearer with him. (I wonder how old this armor bearer was because his courage and faithfulness are pretty remarkable.) Jonathan wants to go to the outpost of the Philistines and his armor bearer responds with such an incredible statement, he says:

“Do all that you have in mind. Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.” (NIV)

“Do what you think is best. I’m with you completely, whatever you decide." (NLT)

"Do all that is in your heart; turn yourself, and here I am with you according to your desire." (NASB)

"Go ahead. Do what you think best. I'm with you all the way." (Message)

This one phrase is powerful. From Jonathan's perspective he has the support of one person and it is that support that gave him the courage to pursue his dream. The backing of one man gave Jonathan boldness. From the armor bearer's perspective he knew who his faithfulness and devotion belonged to and no matter what he would stay with Jonathan.

I began to look inside my life after reading this asking myself if I had the character of the armor bearer. "No matter what, I am behind you heart and soul." Is that my heart towards my friends? Would l risk my life to protect them? The second question that came to my mind was whether I have people supporting me in that way. Are my friends with me heart and soul?

Are we in this together? Do we walk through this life embracing courage for one another? I am so blessed by the friends in my life. God has surrounded me with incredible people that support me. I can't even tell you the gratitude that overflows from my heart when I think of these people. Through these friends I have been challenged to dream big and trust and grow. It is because of them that I have the courage to take leaps of faith.

I pray that each of you have an armor bearer in your life. I hope that someone walks alongside you giving you the courage to GO and DO.

I pray that I am that to my friends and my children. Perhaps all my kids need is someone behind them saying, "I am with you heart and soul." While I will not always be near them, able to physically hold their tiny hands I know that I can protect and defend them from afar through prayer and petition. It may just take one person saying "I am here for you" that inspires a child to change his community, his world. Steps of faith aren't taken easily. They require strength, purpose, and courage. Who will give them this courage? It is up to us. It is up to me.

a couple random pictures from tonight :)

New York! New York!

2010-11-01T19:24:00.000-07:00

Recently we were so blessed to spend a couple weeks in NY. We spent some time in the city, but also performed at West Point and in Canandaigu (our very own Auntie Amy's church!!!)

The backyard at my host family. Incredible? Yes.

Recreation of the pumpkin scones from Starbucks. Amy and I personally think we did a better job =0)

Sunday afternoon spent at the HF.

We got to bake!!! This hardly ever happens on tour. We made an apple pie, it was my first attempt ever. It didn't turn out too bad.

The end result.

Enter N.Y.C.

We prayed that there would be a Starbucks close to the theatre and you know where it was!??!! Right across the block. We are blessed :)

Taking a break from the green room, we took the kids on a walk through Central Park. Someday I will come back here.

Crossing the busy street.

Alex.

The venue for the night, it was beautiful inside.

Oh Rogers. . .

Ritah applying her chapstick :)

Reagan just hanging around, passing the time.

Sporting their new costumes! They love them!

Well goodnight world. I am in Georgia right now and it has been a long couple of days driving to get here and I am plumb tired. I will post soon about my experiences in the south. :)

Renewed

2010-10-26T13:35:00.000-07:00

Romans 12:2:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Today I had some time to renew my mind. Finding solitude and uninterruptedness can be a challenge on the road, but today I found some. As my mind began to dwell on things above I realized that I am not renewed enough. This is a daily habit that should be at the forefront of my days and yet it is so easy to push aside the seemingly invisible things that are in actuality most important. Each morning I should be drenching my mind and heart in the redemptive words of Christ. These words are a medicine to the soul and when they take full effect they will transform us. Transform. A powerful word that stands for change and difference in our lives, developing our character to be more like our Maker. And the beautiful promise after this is that we will be able to know what God's will is. Why? Because we have filled our minds with truth instead of lies, we have tuned our hearts to know what is from the Father and what is not. This verse holds beautiful hope for me.

And as I begin to think about being renewed it makes me question who I am. Perhaps this is also brought on due to the close approaching end of tour and I begin to wonder how much has changed. Have I changed (for the better) as a person, as a servant, as a child of the King? Have the children changed? Have they grown spiritually and personally? Have I been an example of love and sacrifice to them? These are all questions that loom in my mind and heart and in a month and a half I will know the answers. When tour is over and the children board the plane I will know. I will then fully understand the great adventure that just took place and how much has changed from last year.

We are never the same. We are always going somewhere. It is our choice to choose the path that leads to self-preservation and self-fulfillment or to choose the path that leads to holiness and sacrifice. I will hold onto the hope of this verse, that as I am renewed and transformed I will know His will.

(Photo taken by the wonderful Amy)

Excitement.

2010-10-22T19:46:00.000-07:00

I am just so excited that I got my haircut that I had to post a picture.

When 2 Choirs Collide!

2010-10-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was quite the day! By the end of it I was emotionally exhausted from all the excitement of the day. My family came to see our concert in Goshen, Indiana and I was able to stay with them for the night. It was so fun and I loved having them experience a bit of Choir 35. It has been months since I saw a few of them and I loved catching up, it gives me some excitement for after tour and being able to spend some more time with them. I was sad to see them go, but I know that I will see them in a couple of months.

Parents, sister, and cousin :)

After leaving Goshen, I was in a half sleep on our bus ride when Naomi, sitting next to me, exclaimed, "Look!!!! AN AFRICAN CHILDREN"S CHOIR BUS!!!!!!" I sat up and to my amazement there was Choir 37 on the same overpass as us! The kids started yelling and were so happy (as were the chaperones). So along a random rode in Ohio our two buses followed each other looking for a place to park. And when we did and the doors opened one would hardly believe the happiness that followed. There were lots of hugs and a few joyful tears.

An "ACC bus sandwich" as the children liked to call it.

Yesterday I was blessed with seeing familiar and new faces. Choir 37's children are so small compared to ours and it brought me back 14 months ago when our beautiful children came to North America. I am reminded how much our children have grown and changed and learned, as have I.

Saying goodbye to Choir 37 was bittersweet. I am excited to witness the adventure that they are embarking on, but I was so sad to leave dear friends. The miles grow between us, but I am excited for the next (hopefully) reunion, because when 2 Choirs collide wonderful things happen.

Ode to fall.

2010-10-12T18:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight something strange happened. One of my girls said, "Auntie, I hope that it is cold tomorrow." I was shocked and just stared at her. Here before me is Ritah and if you knew Ritah you would know that she HATES the cold. It could be 58 degrees outside and she will have a winter coat and hat on.

Exhibit A:

I decided though that she is in love with fall. Now this may be my own bias entering the picture, but I am pretty confident about my conclusion. The crisp air, changing leaves, vibrant colors, and apple cider, how could these things not overtake her? Deborah also commented on the ride home tonight that her favorite season is fall.

My only sadness in this for them is when they go home there is no fall. So I have decided that I will make this fall the most memorable time for them. I am hoping that the colorful leaves will hold onto their branches an extra week or two, that host families will feel the need for the children and I to carve pumpkins and then make pumpkin pie, that Jesus would turn our apple juice to apple cider, and that the children will understand the importance of change.

We are moving east. Currently we are in Wisconsin and in two days we will be in Indiana and then two days later we will be in New York. I am confident that we will follow fall and enjoy autumn in New York.

Holding hands.

2010-10-09T18:41:00.001-07:00

About a week and a half ago we arrived back to the lower 48 from Alaska. We docked in Bellingham, WA and had a great day spent with the office staff there. Soon after we headed to Seattle to perform at a Rotary event. Upon arriving to our hotel we walked to a restaurant for dinner. Dinner was over and it was time for the children to get ready for bed. Walking back to the hotel I was holding hands with Reagan and this thought came into my head:

Whose hand are you holding?

Of course I am holding Reagan's hand. As I kept thinking about it though I still couldn't shake it. Whose hand am I holding? Someday Reagan will create, hold, comfort, build, work, and change the world with his hands. God will use him and all the children. Perhaps I am holding the hand of the one who will one day find the cure to AIDS. Perhaps I am holding the hand of the one who will comfort the orphans and the widows. Perhaps I am holding the hand of the one who will change a nation.

I don't know whose hand I am holding, but it is a beautiful thing. I am part of who he will become. Now that is an honor and responsibility. Because what I pour into these hands is what will come out of them. Do I sow love and care? Do I sow patience or selfishness? Do I sow faithfulness or imprudence? Thankfully there is the grace of God to fulfill what I am not for him.

And one day I will let to let that hand go. I will release his little hand and he will fly back to his home. I will miss holding hands with him and the other children. I will miss talking and seeing their eyes light up. But if I don't let his hand go the world won't change. So for today I will pour every good thing I possibly could into his hands hoping he will be equipped.

Dear Lord, help me. I can't do it on my own. I can't give them everything they need, only you can do that. You know exactly what they need. May I be your vessel to deliver what they need?

A perfect fall day.

2010-10-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

A trip to the countryside to a lovely apple orchard in the middle of fall. It was perfect.

We love fall :)

Haha, this one is for Amy.

Apple picking!

It's a pea pit. Yes, a pea pit. A pit full of dried peas. The kids loved it!

Thank you Auntie Tina for taking us.

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it,
and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth
seeking the successive autumns."

- George Eliot

My bags are unpacked.

2010-09-23T00:07:00.002-07:00

Shirts hanging in the closet, books stacked high, toiletries neatly laid out in the bathroom.

Yes, my bags are unpacked.

This is a 7-night stay with Host Families and it is wonderful.

I am finding joy in being in one spot for this length of time, a rarity in tour life.

I am blessed tonight.

I have a bed.

Warmth and shelter.

Tap running with clean water.

Washer and dryer cleaning my and the girls clothes for me.

Safety.

Electricity.

Hospitality from strangers.

Good books.

Quiet.

There are many though who don't have these things tonight.

I feel spoiled tonight.

There is nothing that I can physically for those without tonight, but I can PRAY.

Because prayer changes things.

Tonight I will sleep in the assurance that the ONE who holds all things in His hands holds those that I cannot.

Love.

2010-09-16T00:06:00.000-07:00

The kids are loving Alaska and the ferry rides that take us along the Alaska Marine Highway System. My thoughts about the kids have been numerous lately as I am realizing that the end of tour is not too far off. I want the best for them. My heart aches with longing to help them more, to pour into them more. There is a song I love by jj heller and one of the verses goes something like this:

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done or

what I'll become.

Who will love me for me?

The verse struck me as I imagined the kids asking me this very thing. While Christ can only love us wholly and completely I pray that I would love the children like this; not based on their past, present, or future, but based on the knowledge that they are sculpted and designed in His image.

The song ends with this:

I will love you for you.

Not for what you have done

or what you will become.

I will love you for you.

The love that you never knew.

Can you imagine what our days would be filled with if we loved each other with a love not based on performance, status, or any other sort of standards, but loving them for them? I can't promise that I will love this team, this family comprised of people from different nations perfectly, but each day I can aim to love others without requisite.

Yes, these children will do great things. They will bring change and hope to their families, villages, schools, churches, and communities; they are already doing that. I'm just asking for God's eyes towards them, eyes overcome with agape love.

Lord, may your kingdom come to earth. May we have glimpses and moments of what heaven will feel like as we sacrifice our desires to your heavenly ones. Give us your desires God. Burn within us a passion to make your name realized throughout this earth; a passion that burns off the things that hinder.

coffee girls

2010-08-26T21:50:00.000-07:00

I would like to introduce you to Priscillah and Naomi.

These two are the ones who have made sure that I am not drinking too much coffee.

I am serious.

Everyday (well most days) I ask them if I am allowed to have a cup of coffee.

Usually if I plead long enough they give in.

But don't worry, they never let me have more than one cup a day!

I love these girls.

.changes.

2010-08-21T23:43:00.000-07:00

i know that things change. as humans we are meant to change both inside and out. whether it means changing characteristics about ourselves or where we live, nothing ever stays the same. as followers we are called to change more into the likeness of christ each and every day. some days i am better about laying down my old self and putting on the new.

colossions 3:12-13
therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. bear with each other and forgive whatever grievences you may have against one another. forgive as the Lord forgave you.

we clothe ourselves daily, we change daily. i wish that i always put on compassion and gentleness, but some days i don't. some days i choose not to change and i regret it. i regret not changing to be more like my savior. i have changed since beginning tour 1 year ago. God has guided me as a daughter being led by her father. i have learned lessons that can't be told. i have travelled to hundreds of places and met even more people who are each walking down their own paths. many of these people have encouraged, confronted, and strengthened me. and in the end God has changed me through these people. and life has changed for each of you over the past year. there have been celebrations, accomplishments, disagreements, uprootings.

over the past year i have seen the lives of my friends and family change. many have deepened their walk with Christ, begun new jobs, married, travelled the world, cried, stayed home, kept in contact, laughed, and much more. part of me wishes that i could have been there for those things instead of witnessing them at a distance, but i know i am to be here for this season. and after this season with the ACC, i will change once again. it will be hard. it may be one of the hardest things i have ever done, to say goodbye to the children and chaperones as we have spent 15 months together nonstop. i don't know what changes God has for me tomorrow or the day after that, but i hold to the promise that they are good. for each of us who follows Him, His promises are sweet and true.

the Bellagio

2010-08-12T16:46:00.000-07:00

in just a few short days choir 35 will board a plane bound for los vegas. we are currently in fairbanks, alaska but will fly to los vegas for a performance at the bellagio and then fly back to anchorage, alaska. it will be an adventure. i personally am very excited to fly with the children. they talk about flying all the time. and who doesn't want to take a weekend trip to los vegas?!?! i will be sure to take lots of pictures that tell of all of our adventures =)

True North?

2010-07-31T22:42:00.000-07:00

I have heard this phrase (true north) for quite a while now and wonder what it means. Any help on this would be greatly appreciated. Now, to other things. . .

Tomorrow is August 1st. July has made for much time spent outside, some wonderful host families, time at the lake, forest fires, and my favorite, a visit from my family!

.they made me part of their vacation and it was perfect. just what i needed.

.day at the lake. mel's family has a cabin on a lake and invited choir 35 for the day.

it was wonderful and hot.

.time with HF. splash pad and ice cream for the girls makes them very silly.

.please notice the haze in the background. this was from the fires about 20 minutes from town. we are glad to not be breathing in the ash and smoke anymore.

.friends.

.the best way to cheer yourself up

is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Mark Twain

On an island.

2010-07-17T20:54:00.000-07:00

For the last week and a half we have been touring Vancouver Island. It has been a nice change of pace and it's so relaxing to see the ocean so much. I've been thinking quite a bit lately about the word FAITHFULNESS. It's a word that stands for loyalty and trust to someone or something.

As a people of a God who is always faithful, we should be a people of faithfulness as well. Looking at those who God has ben faithful to I am shocked somewhat. He uses imperfect people, those who try it on their own first, those who scheme to get their own way, and those who don't always trust. But in the end, they come back. They see their weakness and inability to control and surrender it all to God. God gently welcomes them back and uses it as a lesson to show His faithfulness. Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, and many more are those who are esteemed as people of faith. Hearing and reading these stories gives me hope that He isn't done with me. He isn't waiting for me to be perfect, but to be willing to be used and sculpted and I am.

Faith, according to Hebrews 11, is not about what we can see; it is about Him. It is about the one that we cannot see. It says in this chapter that "their weakness was turned to strength" and it is so because they allowed God to have their weakness and He used it. God is true to His faithfulness to each generation and I am thankful. I see His faithfulness in my life and I hope that I can show that same faithfulness to Him and His people in return.

I am blessed.

2010-07-08T10:52:00.000-07:00

I am blessed.

Beyond measure.

I am blessed by God's wisdom and His encouragement just when I really need it. These last couple of nights I stayed with a wonderful Host Family. They own a farm and it sits on many acres just at the base of the mountains. I was renewed by God's creation. He speaks to us if we are listening. I was blessed by the conversations and the love shown.

We have a song in the concert that begins with our James saying these things, "I have been so many places, I have seen so many faces." And it's true. I have been so many places. I have been blessed to experience places that I never would have been able to go on my own.

Dr. Seuss wisely once said, "Today is your day! You are off to great places! You're off and away! . . . Kid, you’ll move mountains! So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way!"

Here are just of the places I've been:

Camp.

2010-06-30T16:11:00.001-07:00

The last 9 days have been spent at "camp," which really means a lodge at the base of the mountains near Hope, British Columbia. It is actually really in Sunshine Valley (a village of about 165 people). Our time spent at camp has involved lots of playtime and sleeping/resting. I have loved being in the same bed for more than two nights and being able to spend a lot of time with all the children and other chaperones. Being together all the time as a family unit has been refreshing and renews my passion.

Our house here is surrounded by lots of trees and rivers. The children and I have spent many hours at the river, enjoying being surrounded by God's creation. I find that taking the time to slow down has been quite refreshing. I am thankful for this time of retreat and for the time to appreciate all that God has done for me and for the choir. And I must say that I have loved being able to go on walks! Whether alone or with Chelsea (my trusted walking friend) I am hearing God's voice. He is continually pouring into me and encouraging me. Words and thoughts such as these are what God is laying on my heart: resolve, excellence, character, forgiveness, potter and His clay, and a few others. I am not quite sure yet how they all fit together, but I think that God is teaching me a pretty big lesson. I have the resolve to live each day as best as I should no matter my circumstances, to live serving others with excellence, to instill character into the children and myself, to learn how to accept and give forgiveness freely, to know that I am the clay and my Father is the Potter and I am being shaped for His purpose, refined and put through the fire in the process.

This time at camp has been more than just campfire songs and games, it has been a time of renewal, a time of quietness, (even with African drums waking me each morning), a time of development. I have a couple more days here at camp before tour and concerts starts back up and I am praying that I make the most of it. I will take the time to be and to pour into the children by teaching them about life and the things of God. They are precious souls and I have the honor of pouring into them.

Please pray with me as I have conversations with the children, as I spend time with them, that the words that are spoken would be life changing. God's words and His truth will do nothing else than change us; so may these be the words that are spoken. May my lips drip with words that are sweet perfume to the Lord.

p.s. Here are a few pictures of our time at camp over the last few days: old train tunnels, parks, and laundry washing =)

Time flies...

2010-06-15T11:27:00.001-07:00

I thought that I had just posted here a few days ago and then I realized that it has been two weeks! Time on the road is a concept all it's own. An hour feels like a day, a day like a week, a week like a month...not that times drags, because it doesn't. I think about all that is accomplished in one day and sometimes it surprises me how much we get done as a team. We grow, learn, are challenged, laugh, and sometimes cry. And this is life and I love it.

Right now I am sitting at starbucks enjoying free wi-fi and a vanilla rooibus tea latte. It's pretty wonderful that our church is located so closely. I have been to this same place a few times now which is pretty incredible because it's very rare that I frequent the same place more than once.

I'm sitting here thinking about perspective. Our perspective changes everything. I have a different view of life than the biker sitting at the table next to me who just probably rode about 5 miles as observed from his spandex and sweat, haha. Or my perspective is different compared to the two business people frantically scribbling notes and talking quite passionately. Each one of us see things differently because we are shaped by our surroundings and experiences.

The experiences that I live today prepare me for tomorrow.

So God what are you teaching me today? How are you preparing me for tomorrow?

Village 3

2010-05-30T23:02:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my home.

Her name is Village 3 (so I'm not actually sure if I would refer to the bus as a she but if it was a ship it would be a she so why not. A bus is really just a ship with wheels right?!?!)

This is my beautiful front door.

First stop, my bedroom: complete with pillow and blanket. I have become quite well acquainted with this seat and it has been a faithful friend.

Extensive art gallery: drawn by Faith and I on one of our longer bus rides. I am partial to it; it may even compare to the Mona Lisa.

Powder Room: where hair is fixed before each concert.

My closet: don't be alarmed. I share it with 8 other people. Sometimes we even get our clothes confused and we end up changing twice.

Transportable dresser: holds everything from toiletries to slippers to books and movies. Bonus to this model of dresser is that it can go anywhere! If you need to move, it moves with you.

Living Room: a nice spot to get away from it all or visit with someone or even make a phone call home.

The "Bay" Window: gives a great view of the world outside.

Library: full of books, while most of them are children's books there are a few wonderful classics for all ages like Anne of Green Gables and The Chronicles of Narnia.

Pantry: midday snack? Craving? You can most likely find the cure in this little box, it's pretty wonderful.

Office: where much work happens. A place of great inspiration and where great ideas are born. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

Ah, and now for one of the best parts...a few of my busmates:

Mel: sitting in her bedroom talking on the phone to a dear friend. I love listening to her on the phone because she gets so excited!

Tony: doing "office work" a.k.a bonding with his itouch.

Amy: catching up on a few winks. And please note she crocheted this beautiful blanket herself! (and she is willing to sell it to the highest bidder)

And finally: the view from home tonight. Tomorrow it will be different. A different place, a different view...yet still beautiful.

Rocky Mountains

2010-05-27T22:32:00.000-07:00

Today was a longer bus ride. We left Castlegar and headed to Salmon Arm, British Columbia. It took nearly 7 hours, over 300 km (on mountain roads mind you), and a ferry to get there. I enjoy the longer bus rides as it offers time for us to be together, just Choir 35, building our relationships with each other. Driving through the Rocky Mountains, surrounded by their greatness I was overcome with how small we were. Here we were, 30 people on a bus moving as one together. Life around us was huge and powerful and we were so small compared to what surrounded us, it reminded me of God’s greatness and His splendor.

I was sitting with Deborah for part of the ride and we listened to some music. As Deborah sang quietly I observed God’s handiwork. Not only could He create this rough beauty He could create something so intricate and delicate. He created Deborah to have a relationship with Him and to know Him. I watched as she tenderly worshipped her God. I could have stayed in that moment for quite a while.

She sang these words: Jesus I'll put You first/In my life nothing else will do/I'll spend the rest of my life/In Your house/Giving all to You/I'm so glad You're here/I'm so glad You're near/'Cause I need You/Yes I need You

Later that night at my host family we sat on the back deck, a soft rain hitting the lake behind the house and I listened to the girls laugh and enjoy their hamburgers. The night air held a sense of expectancy and I knew that God was smiling down on us. Here we sat: 2 Canadians, 1 Ugandan, 2 Kenyans, and 1 American enjoying His creation and reveling in the beauty surrounding us in Salmon Arm, British Columbia.

Today my soul was renewed.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. (2 Corinthians)

Be still.

2010-05-18T20:59:00.000-07:00

I am writing this now while sitting in Starbucks but going to post it later since I don’t have internet unless I pay for it and that’s not going to happen. It’s been one of those days where everything seems vivid and very real. I can see perfectly what is going on; things seems almost as if they were moving in slow motion. God is teaching me and the other chaperones so much right now and we are growing in Him daily.

The last few days the same thought has been showing up in paper words and in spoken words: stillness. “Be still and know that I am God.” A short and to the point verse that is difficult. Be still: how often are we still? How often do I, not just slow down, but practice the discipline of BEING STILL?

So, step one: be still. Be who you are and in essence shut up. Go before God and be quiet, practicing the discipline of quietness.

Step two: know that He is God. Look at the power in that statement. Know that I am God. He is God. I am not. I cannot control any situation, no matter how much I try because I am not God. Know Him as God, Creator, Savior, King, Lord, Judge, Groom, Almighty.

How do I go about knowing Him? Be quiet; be still before Him. Enter His presence and do nothing, just listen. Listen for His voice and know Him. Hear His heart, feel what makes His heart beat.

In the Old Testament God says who He is by two simple yet powerful words: “I AM.” I am God. I am Creator. I am Savior. I am King. I am Lord. I am Judge. I am Groom. I am Almighty. That’s it. That’s all I need to know because if I truly knew these things about Him my life would be different. I would not doubt or control or question because I would truly know His heart. I would know Him deeply as the I AM. The One who was, and is, and is to come. No other came before Him and no one will go after Him.

That truth changes me. It changes my relationship with Him and others. It changes the way that I live with these 29 other people on a bus for 15 months. It changes things. And while God is perfect and unchanging I am changing because I have not learned it all.

Please pray for me and the other chaperones that we would know God. There are times on tour when we try to figure things out on our own and then realize that we should have laid it at the feet of Christ. He is God and I will trust Him to show me the way and to be confident in whom He is and who I am in Him.

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear when earthquakes coma and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! A river brings joy to the city of our God, the sacred home of the Most High. God dwells in that city, it cannot be destroyed. From the very break of day, God will protect it. The nations are in chaos, and their kingdoms crumble! God’s voice thunders, and the earth melts! The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress. Come, see the glorious works of the Lord: see how he brings destruction upon the world. He causes wars to end throughout the earth. He breaks the bow and snaps the spear; he burns the shields with fire. Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world. The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress.” Psalm 46

May Days

2010-05-14T17:35:00.001-07:00

Here is a picture diary of our last couple of weeks. It has been a busy couple of weeks and quite wonderful at the same time. We have had many new and unforgettable experiences, the first being performing with Michael W. Smith!

[MWS photos courtesy of Uncle Vic]

Some dress up time, our girls' best!

Host family bowling, (above) Ivy: "Which ball is nicest to me?"

Poor Faith hurt her arm, she is so bummed but doing great learning how to do things with her other arm, she is on a quick road to recovery.

Day off at the lake, this one below is for Tony (haha)

Outing for Ice Cream!

They love to share =)

Black licorice ice cream, yummy???

That is it, for now at least.

Story.

2010-04-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

I just got done reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. It has provoked a lot of thoughts in my heart and mind. Life is starting to look a bit different now though as I begin to look at it like a story with a series of memorable scenes as Miller calls them. Never have I viewed life like this before. My picture of things has been in events and accomplishments but it is slowly starting to view things as scenes. Tonight for instance was the perfect example. I was sitting with my host family and their daughter who is close to my age. We sat around the dinner table for over an hour talking about travels, cultures, ACC, adventures and I realized that I will always have this scene and it was beautiful to me. Perhaps it is being more aware of the beauty in things that are near.

Miller also talks about writing his story and making sure that when he sees Jesus face to face that he will have a worthwhile story to tell. Can you imagine if we all made decisions, even the smallest ones, in light of this? What story am I pursuing? Hearing this makes me realize how desperately I want to have an exciting story, one that Jesus would smile at. It doesn't mean that it will be free from hardship or failure, but I really wouldn't want it to be either. So, my aim will be to live a story that Jesus would be proud of. One that searches for adventure and purpose, that knows no bounds.

I am reminded of my time kayaking a couple years ago. It was dusk and the sun was just beginning to set. Praying and asking God what was next I noticed the moon. It was beautiful and full and then I heard, "Don't miss my sunset waiting to see what the moon will reveal." I don't want to be so focused on what is ahead that I miss where I am at now. Right here, this is where I belong.

It is my choice to create the scenes and live the story.

Travel Day

2010-04-13T05:37:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the GRR airport waiting for my flight, enjoying free wi-fi. Whoever thought to not charge people to have internet after already paying for a flight is a genius. Yesterday was my scheduled day to fly back to the Choir but because of "Maintenance" my only option was to arrive in Calgary around midnight and then a three hour drive to the church, um not going to happen.

I had an amazing holiday. I got to see some very dear friends in Springfield, MO and Chicago, spend time with my family, relax, sleep in, read a book, kayak, going to the lake, and a few other things. It was a needed break and to be honest it was nice to have an extra day yesterday, one last chance to take it easy. I am thrilled though to see my kids and the chaperones again! It has been two weeks since I have seen them and it seems like such a long time. I am definitely going to wake my girls up at the HF when I get there, I can't wait to be with them again!!!

Over break I read one of my favorite books (now). It is one of those books that you read and ignites your spirit to imagine things as they could be and hope that you will be part of that change. The book is "Too Small to Ignore" by Dr. Wes Stafford. I learned so much and I have a renewed vision for my purpose on tour. In the book, Stafford shows Christ heart for children and weaved within his own personal story you see how God is using Stafford's childhood and all the pain that he experienced to bring compassion and hope to children.

God has given each of us a responsibility to care for the orphans and widows, to care for those in their distress, to stand up for those who are rarely given a voice. If I ignore that call I will miss what I was created for, I will miss God's heart. I am excited to go back to the Choir with a renewed vision of Christ's heart for children. I love what God is showing me. Here are just a few of the points from the book that I think are so important to do and with God's help I hope that I can accomplish:

-Go to them; enter their world and play...Am I really too "mature" to see life through a child's eyes? To see the world through a lens of hope?
-Bring them into your world...Psalm 78:4: We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about His power and His mighty deeds.
-Merge these two world: "We go far beyond the responsibility and role of guardian, in fact we are no longer aware when we are 'playfully entering our world' or 'deliberately include them in ours.' Instead, we genuinely like being with each other. This is child discipleship at its best.
-It does take a whole village...[Stafford speaking of his childhood in Africa] "Yet the scolding was tempered by maturity; it never became mean or sarcastic. This was a warm and generous community."
-Attitudes and behavior are more powerful outcomes than mere cognitive knowledge
- To welcome the young into the center of our lives is to enrich not only them but ourselves as well

...those are just a few of the things that I am praying to do and to become. I will only do it with God's help.

So I am heading off with renewed eyes and vision of the opportunity that lies before me. I only have one chance...

...for them...

Arizonia: as the kids like to say

2010-03-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

Last week we left California and began touring Arizona for a couple of weeks. We have had a great time here and here are some pictures to show it:

Where Dreams Come True

2010-03-05T10:15:00.000-08:00

Take 23 children from Kenya and Uganda and put them into a land that they could never comprehend before and see what happens. On Tuesday we went as a Choir to Disneyland! The kids has no idea what Disney was and when we tried to explain it we got a lot of big eyes and bland faces. =)

We had so much fun though! First walking into the park we heard over and over "Is it true? Is it true?" I loved how much the kids soaked everything in. We went on nearly every ride. At first some of them were nervous about the rides but afterward huge smiles plastered on their faces. None of the kids wanted to take a break for bathrooms or food because there were more rides to ride (Note: their good Aunties and Uncles insisted they do this though)

We all had a great day and I loved being able to spend a whole day just playing and laughing and having fun together. They also LOVED meeting the princesses! All of the kids (even the boys) have been talking about them for such a long time.

2010-02-27T10:20:00.000-08:00

I have been quite inconsistent in my blogging. Busyness I suppose gets in the way. This month has been quite "normal" if you could call it that. We have been busy with concerts and just the other night we reached concert #100!!!! It will be even more crazy when we reach #200, oh man.

Chaperones began taking their holidays this month. We each get a two-week break, one after the other. I realize how vital each member of the team is. When one is gone you feel the absence of who they are on the team. I appreciate each person and the knowledge, laughter, and experience they bring. My holiday begins on March 30 and ends April 12. I am quite excited for a bit of a break and to catch up with friends and family. One thing I plan to do is to sleep in without setting my alarm clock. It has been 6 months since I did not need to set my alarm clock. I'm also really excited to go to sushi with friends and have coffee at Panera together. I'm looking forward to being at home, where it is comfortable and known. And, it will be nice to drive my car again =)

At the same time I will miss the kids and chaperones. They have become a second family and I know I will miss them.

Lately I have been reading/thinking/contemplating the cost. Reading about the cost of being a disciple in the Word and reading Irristable Revolution I have been challenged to rethink and relive this lifestyle. We are called to do greater things than Christ did with a love that comes only from Him. I am called to love and care for the orpahns and the widows, am I? Am I abandoning my desires and my needs so that others can live? I can't ignore those who have nothing, who have not felt the hands of Christ. That is my call. To be the love of Christ.