This year brings a lot of emotions and thoughts. It was a year full of change and transition, not all easy, but always needed.
January: welcomed 2009 in with family and started my final semester at Evangel University. A month that brought a new time but also many questions of what lay in the future.
February: Stuck in the midst of the semester wondering if I would make it the last few months (which praise the Lord I did). I also went to Peru on a mission's trip which broke my heart even more for those who are lost.
March: Spring came and March was a month of trust. I didn't know what I would be doing after graduation and waiting to hear from God is something that stretches my faith.
April: A time of busyness at school. The semester was winding down and emotions of moving and leaving were weighing heavy on my mind. I was ready to be done with school and classes (which now I actually miss) but not ready to leave my friends and the comfort of those who I love so much. I found out that I would be a Chaperone with the African Children's Choir too =)
May: Graduation. Saying my goodbyes was not easy. I cried a lot and resisted, but time is no respecter of person and did not slow down so that I could have more time with friends. I skyped a lot and leaned on God and His faithfulness.
June: Work filled my days and time with family or by myself filled my nights. Summer as a whole was difficult. I love Michigan summers and I love being with my family, but leaving life that I had known for the last three years and not knowing when I would see those who I had shared that life with was a challenge.
July: This month seemed the longest. It stretched and stretched and I felt trapped. I was in a place of expectancy for what lie ahead but also missing what was behind. I was reminded of the picture that God gave me one day when I was kayaking before my senior year. The sun was going down and the moon was pushing itself in. I was asking God what lay before me and I heard, "Don't miss the sunset that I have for you looking for what the moon will one day reveal." That comforted me through July and a last minute trip to Missouri to see Ashley and Amy helped as well!
August: Preparation. I was getting ready to leave for tour and in a place of trying to prepare myself in any way that I could. Beyond the preparation of purchasing the suitcase and other travel necessities God was working on me. I came to a place that I could trust God for all of my provisions and needs or not. It was a struggle, a battle. It's hard to open your hands and BE but that is what God asks us; His plan is so beautiful! I learned and grew a lot that month.
September: Beginning life on the road with Choir 35, falling in love with the children, forging friendships with this new family of Chaperones...this month was a transition month. Beginning a new season of life: running towards the new and reminiscing on the old.
October: In the thick of tour, busy with concerts and consumed with thinking about the children and team I learned that my strength comes from God. I can worry and fret and it will do no good. I was reminded through a Host Family that God carries us when we are weak even when we are unaware. And being weak...that is exactly the place that God wants us, because in our weakness can His power be made perfect.
November: A wonderful time of spending Thanksgiving all together and reflecting on all that I have to be thankful for. Seeing more clearly how much God loves us as a Father as I am a "parent" to these 23 children for this time. Such a strong love that sees beyond the imperfection and flaws to see the heart and beauty of a life.
December: What a month. So much learning and growing and stretching. Perhaps the closing of another season brings the reflection that opens my eyes. I am so thankful for the ways that God is changing me into the woman that He desires me to be. He is planting me and growing my roots deep into HIM. Chelsea gave me a verse this morning =) and it fits perfectly with what God is doing in me:
"And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority."
And now for 2010...what will it hold, how will I grow, how will I change those around me? Questions race at me but I am learning to live in the present. I refuse to miss the opportunities that God has placed before me right now to GROW.