Merry Christmas {eve}!!!

Today I finished my Christmas shopping with my little brother.

I tried to teach him how to wrap gifts after that, but I think I failed.

His finished product:

He didn't really like my tips that much as you can clearly see.

That's okay, I found much joy out of watching him wrap gifts :)

{photo booth fun}

the kids loved photo booth

here are just a few of my favorite silly faces

{one week}

one week ago i said goodbye to Choir 35. i have begun the transition into a stationary and different life. for some reason I couldn't envision life after tour, I thought it would end. but it hasn't. life still goes on. relationships grow in different ways with different people, but there is still growth. i actually haven't made it home yet. i spent a few days in D.C. with the aunties and am now in Georgia with my best friend catching up after 18 months. tomorrow I fly home.

there are things I miss.

laughing with the kids and chaperones

living on a bus

holding the hand of a precious child

being called auntie

i realize these are all relational things. relationships change.

and i am learning that is beautiful. because where there is change there is potential and potential has the ability to bear fruit. that is the point of life to bear fruit. Christ calls us to bear good and lasting fruit. yes i will miss the kind of relationships that i had with these children and chaperones, but i know that God is placing us each in a place where we can bear more good and lasting fruit. He is placing us specifically for a purpose. relationships change, but it is good.

{a lovely little song]

A few days ago Esther was singing this little song while we were spending some time together...

...now as she is no longer with me I am cherishing this song. I hope you do to.

{sweet dreams}

Tonight was our last night. I gave my last goodnight hugs/I love you's to the kids. I tucked them in bed for the last time and in a few minutes I will go in and check on them before I go to bed. In less than 24 hours they will be on a plane heading for Africa. Their planes will touch down and they will be greeted by families and friends who have been missing them for the last 16 months. They will be welcomed home with great fanfare but on the other side of the ocean myself and 3 Aunties will be wondering what to do with ourselves. We will get ready for bed and have no children to tuck in.

As promised in the Word though I have PEACE. I know that it is time for them to go back home, to integrate back into life and school, to go and tell those they love about their experiences and changes on tour. The sermon at church this morning was about the Peace that comes from Christ. It surpasses our human intellect and understanding. It comes when we need it the most. This Peace comes from God who is good and thinks good things about His children.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation,

by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

And the PEACE of God,

which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7

Christ promises a Peace that guards our hearts and minds. What a beautiful picture. As the last of our cleaning and packing was wrapping up tonight, Chelsea looked at me and we paused in the Peace that we felt. Deep within our hearts we know that it will be okay, we know that God is in control. Our faith is in that fact. I am confident because of it. How blessed I am. And as we say goodbye to these children this Peace will overwhelm our hearts. Yes, we will still feel the emotions of goodbyes, but these goodbyes will be said with our Father looking on saying,

"You have finished the race. I am so proud of you."

And Choir 35 will part ways, but we will always be a family. . .

some pictures from church today:

{in one moment}

I am watching the sunrise this morning. If you know me, you know that I am not a morning person. I never have been and while tour has helped me work to change this, waking up at 5:30 a.m. is still early to me. It was an early morning as I had to say goodbye to 2 of my boys. They are going to Choir 37 for a bit to help them out. As I hugged Jonah and Reagan my heart ached. What do you say in a moment like that? I was given 16 months to tell them all the things they needed to hear and it came down to one moment. I gave them one last hug and I told them how proud of them I am and how much I love them.

I have loved them, cared for them, cried with them, prayed with them, struggled with them for 16 months and on Monday I will have to say goodbye to 19 more children. Last night after the children said their goodbyes to these two boys, Ivy looked at me and said "Auntie, you are so brave, you aren't crying." And then Charity responded with, "Ivy, you can be brave and still cry."

And on Monday I will be brave. I will say goodbye to 21 children that have affected my life so deeply. I will no longer wake up early so I can get the kids ready. I won't tuck them into bed and giggle and laugh and pray with them. No longer will I hear the chatter. Things are changing. We are stepping into the unknown and things are changing. Perhaps that is the scary part of change, the unknown. For 16 months we have lived pretty consistent and normal lives and all of the sudden in one moment things change. Life will become consistent and normal for all of us in different ways now. For now though I am living in these last moments, in these last 3 days.

Lord, be with us as we change and step into the unknown. Life is changing for 29 people who have become a family. Guide us and direct us as our paths head different directions now. Thank you that our paths crossed for these months, even if only for a bit of time in our lives.

Lord, make me brave. Even with my tears I will be brave and face the future with confidence that the Creator is in control. And in these last few days we will celebrate together. We will look at the faithfulness of our God and rejoice together. We have run the race, we have finished what we set out to do. We have had the courage to live out these 16 months fully and that is what has made us brave for this moment.

{packing my bags}

For the last couple days we have been tirelessly sorting through suitcases that will be sent home with the children. These suitcases will last them for a couple of years and they are full of bedding, towels, clothing, school supplies, shoes, soccer ball, and a Bible. (A HUGE thank you to the families that sponsored these for our dear and deserving children.) The children were ecstatic to try everything on and see all the lovely things they received. This process however gave me visions of the children back home. The end is soon, 5 days. I am tired to be honest. Today I think my emotions have caught up with me. There is also so much to get done in these last days.

I look up to the mountains;

does my strength come from mountains?

No, my strength comes from God,

who made heaven, and earth,

and mountains.

Psalm 121:1

I am off to pack my bag now. Let's hope all my things fit inside of it :0)