{bitter or sweet changes}

Today was most likely my last day off on tour. I spent it at Panera, checking things off my to-do list while listening to country music and sipping on an unlimited amount of coffee. Less than two weeks until the children fly home. My mind is full of thoughts about this. Bittersweet completely sums up how I am feeling. It will be so hard to say goodbye, to say that last 'I Love You' and give the last hug. But part of this journey coming to a close is sweet. Sweet to reconnect with family back home. Sweet for the children to enter back into their countries and homes, to see their families again. But right now it is bitter. My heart will ache and I will grieve saying goodbye. I've never been good at goodbyes. Perhaps that's okay. Maybe it's okay for me to feel and grieve and process. That's part of life. That's part of change.

I think of the changing seasons and the vast amount of things that change to our sight, but there are also the things that happen beneath the surface, unknown to the human eye. It's these small, minute changes that affect what we can see. God is preparing me for change right now. And I am standing on Christ. The only One who doesn't change. In James it says He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He is steadfast. He is immovable. He is unwavering. While life turns and changes all around us, He is there guiding and supporting.

Today was a good day.

Full of time to reflect, talk to friends and family, sip coffee, and change.

Because today I changed.

I was changed when I listened to "Pastor" Reagan preach from Psalms 4:8 tonight. He encouraged our dear family to remember that they have nothing to fear, that God is watching over them and protecting them. We sleep in peace because God never sleeps. Someday soon Reagan will go back to his family and sit and tell them what he has learned about God and it will change that family. And when Reagan grows up he will stand and preach truth to those who need to hear.

{meet Pastor Reagan}

So right now some of these changes are bitter and some are sweet, but they are all good.